What does courage mean to me? Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself asking this question. Whether it was when I was a little kid and unsure if and when my dad would come home, or when my family had to move to a new city, leaving everything behind, or when I was a teenager not knowing what would come next after my family fell apart, I was always left wondering how could I be courageous in a time like this. Within those times riddled with fear and uncertainty, I learned that moments like that were when courage flourished the most.

When I was a little boy my dad wasn’t around much as he was often deployed at sea for the Navy. During the time he was gone, our minds were constantly fed major news stories about terrorism and war raging on in the Middle East. With our dad  stationed in Afghanistan these stories filled us with terror. They made us wonder: “What if he’s the next casualty of war?” What if we never see our dad again?” Despite these negative thoughts, our Mom made sure we knew he was coming home. Even when she had doubts, she showed courage and gave us courage in such a scary time.

Years after this my parents told my siblings and me that we were moving to a new house in a new city far away from where we considered home. This move crushed my siblings and me, we hadn’t known any other home than the house that we had. Even more, this move would take us away from the friends we grew up with, the friends we formed deep bonds with. This move brought in a new type of fear: the fear of unavoidable change. Not only would we have to live in a completely new environment, but we had to enter this environment with only each other, and it was each other that gave us the courage to face this massive change.

Finally, looking back at the most recent and possibly the most instrumental event to occur throughout my life, my family’s separation. During my siblings and my yearly trip to church camp, our sister confessed to us that our father had sexually assaulted her. This news devastated my brother and I. We were  sorry for the pain my sister had to shoulder for all of those years. Not only did her confession cause such fear and sorrow, but the uncertain future that was to come petrified us. In this fear, we found our will to go on in God and the want to be strong for our sister.

Through these keystone events in my life, I learned what it truly meant to be courageous. To be courageous means to be strong for others despite the fear consuming you; it means to keep going when the future isn’t clear; it means finding refuge in others when you feel like you can’t go on. Courage saved me from a life of fear and guided me into unbreakable bonds; courage showed me that there’s always more beyond an unclear future. Courage has given me the ability to face any situation with the will to go on with the knowledge that I’ll come out the other side stronger than before and with a bright future ahead of me. Courage has helped make me who I am today.